Changes

These past months have changed me.
Nothing happened and everything happened. Nothing happened outside but everything happened inside.

Strangely or not  I think I'm still not 100% aware of what is going on inside me. Sometimes I think I am lost, I will say I'm lost but honestly I don't believe it. I'm not lost. I may not know where I am heading to, but I'm not lost.

I'm changing skin. I'm admitting to myself I might have been wrong about some things. My view is limited and my judgements can't always be trusted. I can't see the whole picture and I may have felt hurt more than I would like to because of my inability of giving others without expecting something in return.

Over time (and probably since an early age) I have been too obsessed over things and the more I tried to hold on to them, the less I understood my obsession was preventing me from moving on.

Isn't it funny how we claim our desire from freedom but then go acting completely contrary to our deepest desires?

Being ourselves, acting in accordance to our true nature should be the easiest thing to do. So why is it so hard?

Are we so blind that we can't see?
Are we so deaf that we can't hear?

I don't know. I have a lot  of questions and zero answers.

I know what still causes me pain and unfortunately I cannot leave all the pain behind. Not yet. But seeing my pain in a different way has definately given me some peace.